Having a Baby in Germany: Turns out it's Really, Really Awesome

Alright friends.
It's time. It's time for me to tell you that, despite all of it's differences, having a baby in Germany is actually amazing.
I've been struggling writing this post in a concise, interesting way for WAY TOO LONG. I mean, Stella is 6 months old now, and the world has moved on. Who would have thought it would take me this long to write this up? It turns out that adding another tiny human to your life means a big adjustment in figuring out how to find/use personal time. But regardless of finding time, it's been a struggle for me to find the best way to share my experience of having a baby in Germany without waxing too eloquently about Stella's birth story.

This could have been a SO-dang-long. I'm serious.

But here's what I've got anyways :)

As for the summed-up experience of what it was like to give birth in a hospital in Germany, I'll start by saying this:

It. Was. Fantastic.

Even after all of the ridiculousness navigating prenatal care. Even after dealing with insurance and registration. Even after being way, way too overdue...

...the experience I had at the hospital here was good enough to say that it was all very, very worth it. And not just because I had a soft, squishy, fuzzy new tiny human to call mine (aren't they the best, though??!).  

So what was it like? What was the same? What was different?
Well, hunker down and lemmetellya.

First: Similarities

Because Germany is an awesome, first-world country with access to the best education, medicines and so forth, they've got awesome, awesome healthcare. Just like the hospitals I have birth at in Washington and Illinois in the US, the hospital we went to here (UniKlinik Dusseldorf) has:

• high quality medicine
• good equipment
• highly trained professional staff (who, in our experience, listened to us, and gave us space if we wanted it)

With that said, there were a LOT of differences. It was actually a little freaky-deaky going into it, because I didn't really know what to expect. At all.  Becaaaauuuse:

Difference #1:
The OB that you go to for your prenatal care is NOT the person that delivers your baby. 
In fact, the OB has a separate office, far from the hospital, and have very little contact with the hospital at all. So, when I was nearing 10 days overdue and asked my OB what I should expect when I went to the hospital to be induced, sheeeeee....wasn't sure. I guess it's different at different hospitals! So yeah...
Luckily, with a friend's help calling the hospital for answers, and another fabulous friend, who also happens to be a midwife in the UK, most of my questions were put at ease before heading to the hospital.

Difference #2:
Language...but you know what?? It's all good.
Do you want to know something crazy/true??? Most people in our generation in Europe get great English language training. With so many different countries, with SO many different

official languages, English is kind of a common denominator these days, and a lot of people learn it well and, in turn, speak it well. They start teaching it in schools at a super-young age, and so by the time people are 15, most of them have great conversational English. If practiced at all, it can be pretty durn incredible.
But you know what? They don't think that they do. It's pretty funny, actually.
So when we went to the hospital, we spoke German, most of the time, as is our habit. BUT, when it came down to the important stuff, we were like "no, we NEED to speak English now". Sometimes they'd be like
"Haha, Oh, no, my English isn't that good,"
 and we'd insist
"NO, I AM SURE your English is better than our German"
So they'd sigh, and roll their eyes a bit, and then start reciting Shakespeare as a warm up...
...no but really, anytime we needed it, someone was there who spoke great English. We understood everything that we needed to understand.

Difference #3:
Means of Inducing Labor
Generally, our overall impression of the German birth-mindset is that the goal is to encourage the mother to have un-medicated/natural labor if at ALL possible. Goal in mind: limited drugs and intervention. They are, however, really good at listening to the woman in charge, and also want her to have a good experience, so epidurals are definitely still an option.
When it comes to inducing labor, they would like to limit drugs and intervention as much as possible. At the our hospital they start induction at 10 days over the due date.

Since Stella decided to take her sweet ol' time coming into this world and I was 11 days overdue when she finally arrived, here was our experience (it can be different at different hospitals

Okay, so now: story time :)

When I last left this saga, I was 8 days overdue, with no idea what was going to happen to me when I checked into the hospital if I got to the dreaded, official 10 days overdue. I was clueless. I had a few questions answered pre-check-in, but when we did finally check into the hospital we finally got to sit down face to face with a doctor, look him in the eye, and have him explain to us how exactly labor was going to be induced. Here's a run-down of what their plan was:

When someone is 10 days overdue they check into hospital and:

Step 1: Drink what the staff called "a cocktail" and what I like to call "the poo-inducing cocktail". Poo-inducing because it's main ingredient is castor oil, and "cocktail" (that's totally what they call it) because it's made, most commonly with Champagne.
I am dead serious.
Champagne -  to try to make it....special??? Appetizing??? I have no idea.
But the doctor was flabberghasted when I requested that it be made without Champagne. It was pretty funny, actually. He just mouth-open-staring-blankly-at-us couldn't believe it. I guess German women that are 10 days overdue that then find themselves being subjected to drinking castor oil are happy to have booze involved. "Champagne? Heck yeah. Give me 10 C-C's of that stuff, stat." 

But anyways...yeah. Castor Oil. The hope is it will shake things up in your intestines enough to kick you into labor. 

So yeah. Fun and deeeelicious!! 

Step 2: Wait 24 hours
Hopefully, you go into labor. 

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK:

Step 3: They give you this pill called Cytotec. You  take the pill every 4 hours, and remain hooked up to a CTG. 

Step 4: Continue doing this for THREE DAYS.
 Yes. Every 4 hours. Until labor kicks in. For 3 days.
Hopefully, you go into labor.

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK:

Step 5: You're then given a Pitocin drip, which really, really, should actually kick things into gear. I mean, remember, this is after three days of the other stuff. 

So yeah...Pitocin is kinda their big gun. But, as it is an artificial hormone, and can make for a difficult labor, here in Germany it's a last resort. 

IF THAT DOESN'T WORK:

Step 6: Curse the labor and delivery gods and wonder why you ever thought having another baby was a good idea??? 
No, but really, after that, you're a good 14+ days overdue, and a c-section will most likely be in order. 

So yeah. Their means of inducing labor is just a tad different than what we were exposed to in the US. 

Difference #4: Shared Rooms
After Berkley and I got the run-down from our doctor and I chugged the "cocktail", we were kind of free to do as we pleased while we waited/hoped for the castor oil to work it's magic. We were not, however, allowed to go to the rooms designed for labor/delivery. More on that later. 
So where did we go when we weren't walking around? To the room assigned to me for post-partum recovery. And guess what? It wasn't just my room. Unless you pay BIG BUCKS for your own, private room, all of the recovery rooms in the hospital are designed to be shared with another person. 
We knew this going in, so we knocked softly on the door, and opened it slowly. Inside was a new, first-time mom who'd had a c-section earlier that day. Next to her was a tiny, fuzzy little baby, sleeping in a bedside crib. 
My heart melted :) and with it, all of the fears that I'd had about sharing a room with someone. My sweet roommate was a kind-hearted woman, and new babies are just...magical.
The only downside was that the room filled up very quickly when family came into visit, plus you feel a need to be courteous of the other person (i.e. noise, how long visitors stay, etc.). But in the end, it didn't bother me at all. 
So, yeah. You have to share a room :)  

Difference #5: Midwives
In Germany, midwives are not only respected and revered, but they are the NORM. Delivering babies? With a doctor? No, no. That's only for crazy emergencies. 
Berkley and I met with a doctor when we first checked into the hospital. He was awesome. He was our age, laughed with us about stuff, and gave us the run-down on what to kind of expect over the next few days, then shook our hands and was gone. After that, I didn't see, nor even hear mention of the doctor until a full 36 hours after Stella was born. 
And who helped us out? 
The midwives. They were experienced. They were courteous. They were helpful, but in no way intrusive. 
And in the end, for me, they were perfect.
And the midwife who delivered Stella? Her name was Stella :) 

Difference #6: Delivery Rooms
Look into the delivery room at our German hospital and you'll find everything you can possibly imagine needing for delivering a baby EXCEPT...duh-duh-duh: A BED. 
That's right. No lying flat on your back to deliver a baby here. That's just plain not an option because it is seen as the worst, most inefficient, uncomfortable ways for a woman to give birth.
Germans are very practical people. It's one of my favorite qualities :)

Difference #7: Delivery
This is a difference 1. because, for me, it was a different birth (every birth is unique) under different circumstances, and 2. because of how the delivery was handled. I was just given so much freedom and respect. It was awesome.
So...Okay, story time again.
Basically, the castor oil worked. Woo hoo! And after hours of doing a combination of going on long walks, climbing stairs, watching The Lord of the Rings in our hospital room and pacing the halls of the hospital, I made my way to a "delivery" rooms of the labor and delivery ward in the hospital. I was greeted on my way by a young, cheerful, kind midwife who immediately assessed our situation. I was having super strong, intense contractions every 3 minutes, and Berkley was kindly helping me stay relaxed and focused. I asked for an exercise/birthing ball to drape myself over while kneeling on the floor. She happily provided it, along with a nice cushy mat to go on the floor underneath me and keep my knees happy. As I labored, she gave me really good, relevant suggestions to help me stay relaxed and focused.
"Would you like a warm-pack for your lower back?" She offered.
I didn't realize until she mentioned it, but that sounded like HEAVEN.
I had my upper body supported by the birthing ball and was rocking and swaying, with my knees on the floor, through my contractions. Between contractions, however, my legs and lower body had begun trembling (a LOT) from fatigue.
"Why don't you try sitting back on your knees, off of the ball to rest between contractions" she suggested.
BRILLIANT. It made such a difference.
As labor continued to progress, she was there. Her presence was perfect: she allowed Berkley to be the main coach, but in a subtle, non-intrusive way, coached him on things he could say/do to help me. I didn't even realize all the help she'd provided until Berkley told me later.
And then there was the actual delivery of the baby:

No words can describe those first moments

No making me get up into a bed. No, no, I was allowed to just stay right where I was, hands and knees, on the mat on the floor. The midwife checked to make sure I was fully dialated, then quietly, and calmly, and happily said
"Okay! Your fully open. On your next contraction you can start pushing."
So I did.
It didn't take much, and when Stella came, the midwife guided her out, and ever-so-gently just laid her on the floor between my legs, allowing ME to reach down, and scoop up my little baby and hold her close to me.

It was beautiful.

And it was also so interesting - she didn't rush in to suction out her airways or rub her off...she just kind of sat back and let me have my time with her, a time which felt like eternity to me, but in reality was just a short moment.
It was then, and only then that some staff brought a bed into the room for me to rest on. It was kind of amazing, actually, to suddenly realize that it wasn't just me and Berkley and the midwife in the hospital.

Difference #8: Post Partum Recovery
Here, the stance toward post-partum hospital recovery seems to be on actually recovering. Maybe it was just my experience, but in the US it seemed like the focus was so emblazoned toward making sure that you're still alive that you never actually got time to rest and recover. Vitals every two hours, questionnaires, consultations, etc. But here? Nope. They just check on you occasionally and let you sleep.

Stella, sleeping away in her tiny baby crib

After delivering Stella, and getting up into the comfy bed that had suddenly appeared for me, they took that same bed and wheeled me to my room so I could go to sleep. Stella was born 3 minutes before midnight, and it was past 1 am at this point. I was ready to sleep. I think everyone knew that. Stella had eaten well and was fast asleep. So the nurses kindly offered to "take Stella until she needs you again". I was happy to have their help, and expected to be woken up a couple of hours later to take care of new little Stella.
But nope...I slept for a good 5 HOURS.
I woke up at around 6 am. WIDE AWAKE. I sat there for a while, wondering how it was possible that my newborn hadn't needed me for the last 5 hours, and that no one had come in and woken me up to take my vitals or something.
No matter. I was thrilled to have slept, and there was no going back to sleep - I felt good and was reliving the entire experience from the night before over and over in my head. I was on a total high. Shortly after 7 am I finally called the nurses and told them they could bring Stella to me :) I wanted to see her anyways!

But those 5 hours without being bothered by anyone? It was no fluke. The nurses were attentive and helpful, but respectfully kept their distance. They'd poke their heads in to check on me, but there were no beeping, loud machines or repetitive vital-checking. Unlike my hospital stays in the US, this was actually quite restful, which was so, sooo nice. My second night there the nurses, again, took Stella for me, which allowed me to sleep for a good 6 hours or so. It was pretty amazing.

Difference #9:
Tiny baby cribs

No plastic boxes for newborn babies in Germany. They sleep in sturdy, wooden cribs on perfectly smooth, silent wheels. I liked them. They felt so - not hospital-ee. And it's also the same, popular brand of bedside crib that so many mothers have in their homes (including us).

AND LAST THING
Difference #10: Food...ugh
German hospital food is NOT delicious. They keep you alive. They kind of  give you variety. But yeah. Not my favorite. Even our German friends agree.
Also, the big meal is lunch. Dinner is like...bread. With some butter, or maybe another spread.
I had heard this, so I hoarded food provided me throughout the day so I could eat it in the evening, if hungry.
It worked out :)

And now? I have this amazing, wonderful, sweet little baby. She's been nothing but a blessing in our lives. Often, amidst the chaos of having a 5 and 2 1/2 year old, I'll look over and she'll just be sitting there, smiling. She brings me back to reality, often, and is the source of so, so much joy.

We love her.

Bridger and Juniper meeting Stella for the first time

Love, love, love