The New Kind of Adventure: Pregnancy in Germany

So.


I'm pregnant. 

Yup, that's the Pantheon in Rome. That was cool :) 

Actually, that photo was taken back in October. I am much more pregnant now. 3ish weeks to go, actually. I am doing well enough, and due to lack of a full-length mirror in our apartment, I sometimes forget the fact that I am as pregnant as I am. But simple things remind me, like squeezing into a full train, sitting too long in one position, or my children's comments.
Bridger was standing in front of me the other day and actually stopped, mid-sentence, and said "WHOA. Your belly is just...huge right now".

So yeah.  We're excited. The kids are thrilled. I haven't let it slow me down. It's a girl. I am due at the end of February. We still don't have a name. All that good stuff. Yay! 

Pregnancy is an adventure, and pregnancy in a foreign country with a foreign language is quite the adventure. Germany is no exception.  

One thing of note is simple cultural differences. Germany has a low birth-rate, which means they really want people to have kids. They pay you money to have kids. It's awesome. And there are tons of things that they do to make being a parent of young children easier: stroller accommodations on trains, buses, etc. Stroller parking basically wherever you go. Nursing rooms and changing rooms in malls and stores. I could go on...but it's great.

From what I've observed here in Dusseldorf, people have children at an older age, and it's pretty rare that they have more than 2 children. Actually, when I told our elderly, very kind neighbor that I was pregnant, he looked at me, blankly, and literally said "Again?".
I laughed!
He didn't. 

Me, the kids, and the belly this last weekend
 in Heidelberg, Germany

Having 3 kids here is like "Okay, you're done now, right?" and 4 is like "WHOOOOA THERE, Nelly. Get a grip." Anymore is just insanity. A friend of mine told me that there was a family with 8 children, and they got a special show on T.V. about their lives.

Despite all of that, I see quite a few pregnant women as I make my way around the city during the day. Most people's maternity leave starts a month before they're due, so they are often out and about at the same time of day as other people that aren't working. And get this: they legally can have up to 3 years of maternity leave and still be able to go back to their same job. Cool, huh? 

So yes. I am no expert, but those are my observations at this point. 

BUT I WILL say this about prenatal care: if  I had to choose a foreign country to have a baby in, Germany would totally be at the top of my list. German prenatal care culture is incredibly thorough and advanced, and I have every confidence that I am in the best hands. In the same breath though, it's still different than what I am used to in many, many ways, making things very often amusing and sometimes quite difficult.

Let me tell you about my first appointment. 

I went in, not knowing WHAT to expect. I tried to prepare myself as best I could (they don't exactly have a "prenatal care and childbirth" vocabulary section in introductory German language courses...). I walked in. I always speak German when I first enter a situation with a new person because I want them to know that I care about their culture and their country and that I am trying, and speaking their language (I feel) is a good way to do that. 

So - I introduced myself, explained that I am still learning German, and asked what I needed to do.

First, they gave me paperwork to fill out. 
Of course, paperwork. Easy enough, right? No worries, just read before you sign...except, it was all in German.
It was...uncomfortable. Paragraphs filled with long, indecipherable, complicated looking words and phrases, with a line at the bottom for me to sign. But I took a deep breath, pushed through it, and YES. Done! 
Assessment: challenging, but NORMAL.

Next: Urine sample.
Sure. Makes  sense. Done it a million times with other pregnancies.
But she handed me a TEST TUBE  with a lid on it to pee into, with a little test-strip inside. 
Not even joking. I guess Germans have really good aim. 
Assessment: different, but NORMAL


Then, when, in my best German, I told the receptionist (who gave me said test tube) that I had my immunization record with me, in case she needed it, she looked at me like "Whaaat??". I started rifling through my bag to pull it out, putting my orange Nalgene water bottle on the counter in the process. 
The receptionists eyes got big. 
She looked straight at the water bottle and said, in English, "You brought a URINE SAMPLE WITH YOU? ALL OF IT??" The orange Nalgene was 1/2 full. 

Yes. I brought a 1/2 liter of urine with me to the office to share with you. 

NO. Ha! 
I gave her the record, and chuckled to myself - but she didn't think it was quite as funny, for some reason. Heheh. 
Assessment: HILARIOUS

Next I had my finger pricked 
and they collected some blood for something-rather. I asked why. Something about aaighoawirgjoweg and hemoglobin. I still don't understand, but they do it every appointment. They also draw blood quite often for, again, unknown reasons. I just kind of have to go with the flow a lot of the time.
Assessment: Maybe they did this back in the US too, but I don't remember having my blood looked at every single appointment... so...DIFFERENT.

When I finally made it into the Dr. office
I met my kind, wonderful, professional doctor. She was very understanding, and spoke enough English to make me feel comfortable. I did get chastised by the look in her eyes when I told her that my last papsmear was 2 years before, when I was pregnant with Juniper. "We do them every 6 months here" she said flatly.
Oops. Sorry I'm not on top of that, doctor. 
But she's great. 
Assessment: to my relief, NORMAL

Oh, an then, there was the whole get-naked thing
Yup. No robe. At all.  No little sheet to put over yourself...Just "take everything off, and go for it!" The first appointment it was everything, from top to toes. After that, I at least got to keep a shirt on, but still...Every. Appointment.
Ahhh....Europeans and nudity...
Assessment: Strangely DIFFERENT. But culturally understandable.

So, in the end, 1st appointment was a success. Not only did the doctor turn out to be super-cool, but they did an ultrasound even though I was only 12 weeks along. SO I GOT TO SEE the little thing kicking around, and fingers and toes, which was INCREDIBLE, since I didn't even have a belly yet, and it hadn't really sunk in. 

It was just a "WHOaAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is real!!!" moment.

It was way more exciting than any other ultrasound I'd ever had. ANNNNND. They made a video clip for me of the ultrasound, put it on a jump drive, and sent it home so Berkley and the kids could see it, which they loved. And they do that every time :) Cool, huh?  Here's the clip of what we got to see:

At the end they informed me that I was to schedule an appointment for every 3 weeks. 

Assessment: Different. 3 weeks? Really? Why not just once a month?

At my second appointment, the doctor pulled out the ultrasound thing...again. ??? 
I just kind of went with it, but eventually asked her if there was going to be an ultrasound at every appointment. She said yes. I asked if that was normal. Yes again. 

"Oh." I said. 
Pause. 
"With my first two pregnancies, I only ever had one ultrasound with both children". 
She stopped. She looked at me like I'd come from a 3rd world country, and then told me that it was dangerous to not do an ultrasound at every appointment, because that is how they determine that everything is going well with the baby. 

Oops. Sorry. Guess I am not on top of that one either...

Ohhhhh the thoroughness :)  I smiled and said I understood why there were differences, and that I was just curious. Then I got to watch my tiny human jump around some more. 

Assessment: DIFFERENT, but whatever, and tiny babies are cool. 

Things continued on.  

More peeing into test tubes. More finger pricks. More ultrasounds. More very typical "your baby is growing well, now you can go home" type of things (thankfully :) ). 

Several appointments in, after having faithfully filled my pee-test-tubes each time, I sat in the little room where they weigh you and prick your finger. One of the receptionists/nurses walked in. She looked annoyed. She grabbed an empty test tube with a test trip in it.
"Look." She said flatly.
She pulled the test strip out of the empty tube, held it between her legs like she was peeing directly onto the strip, stuck it back into the empty test tube, capped it, then looked at me and said "Done. Do you understand?".
Me: "oOHHHhhhh! Yes! Sorry! I didn't know, Haha!?" 

"Good." she said, still annoyed, and left the room.
I started laughing OUT LOUD. Quietly, but still, I'm sure, audible. They must have thought I was insane, but I couldn't believe that these lovely women, for WEEKS, had dealt with handling capped test tubes full of my pee - something COMPLETELY NOT NORMAL - without saying anything, anything at all when I handed it to them. No wonder they kind of looked at it weird every time...they must have thought that Americans have really good aim ;) 

I thought it was hilarious. I felt dumb, of course, but not too dumb since NO ONE EVER TOLD ME WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. I still find it funny.

Assessment: I AM THE ABNORMAL ONE. 

Finally (last thing, I promise) the CTG or "Cardiotocography"

If you've ever had a baby, you probably remember having this weird thing strapped to your belly for about 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital, ready to give birth. That was a CTG - it monitors the baby's heart rate, as well as contractions of the uterus. I did this while in labor with both of my kids, and it was in the hospital, and only in the hospital while in labor that I ever had it done. And with Juniper's unmedicated birth, laying there motionless while that monitoring was done, totally sucked. But I understood: contractions + baby heart rate = important information. 

But. Guess what? In the quest for extreme thoroughness you not only get to have the CTG when you arrive at the hospital to have your baby but at every single prenatal appointment in your 3rd trimester. 

Yup. I showed up at my doctor's office over a month ago only to be informed that I needed to start coming 30 minutes early to my appointments so that they could monitor the baby's heart rate. 

At first I was just annoyed because it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. 

Then, I convinced them to let me sit in a chair (vs. lying down) which is much better.

So now, it's just an inconvenience for time. But whatever. They're certainly very thorough :)
Assessment: DIFFERENT, but whatever. I get to read on my own for an extra 1/2 and hour before going home.

So now, 4 weeks away from my due date, I am at the point where I go to the doctor's office every week. Due to the ultrasoundiness, I get to see the baby every time, know how big she is, where she is on the growth chart (very, very average) and just kind of...go through the motions. It's all become routine now, and I am grateful to know what to expect. 

And I'll say this: other than the nudity, the intense number of ultrasounds, the test tubes and lack of instruction, and getting my blood drawn a bajillion different times  - prenatal care is pretty much the same thing :) 

Plus, now I have a flip book of ultrasound photos. 

And here's a video of Juniper's opinion on things. I sure like her:

Before signing off, I would like to say that dealing with insurance and registering at the hospital has added it's own dimension to this whole pregnancy in a foreign country. It's hard and stressful, and made me grateful for a lot of different things. If you'd like to hear more about that too, I might just write about it in a future post.