Adjustment

Sometimes, change is really, really good for you. And adjustment to it almost always really hard. 

Here is a photo my dear mother took of me shortly after my little Juniper was born. 

I love this photo. It represents the best of a time filled with closeness, gentleness, helping hands, blessings, and a LOT of love...oh, so much love.

I will be the first to admit, however, that even though bringing a new baby into our home was an incredibly joyous thing, it wasn't easy. When Juniper was about 1 1/2 months old, I found myself feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.  I felt that things were going well, and I was happy, yet I often found myself in tears over these emotions by the end of the day. I hoped things would get better with time, but it wasn't happening as quickly as I wanted it to. Something had to change.

Finally, one evening, I had to get to the root of things. I had to hash it out. It was time to figure out WHAT exactly was making me overwhelmed, why I felt inadequate, and make goals for what I could do to make things better. 

Berkley (bless his heart) took the kids, and I took an hour to sit down on the couch, by myself, notebook in hand, tears streaming down my face, and did an honest self-assessment. I broke things up as follows:

• Basic Responsibilities (listed out)
• Added Responsibilities (listed out)
• Sources of Stress (listed out)
• Ways to Manage Above Sources of Stress (listed out)
• Specific Goals

It was a brainstorming session. I'll spare you all the scribbly details, but some of my sources of stress were things like:
-Losing my patience with Bridger
-Inability to take care of the listed basic responsibilities
-Not having any time for my own needs/wants
-All of the above, combined
-Unrealistic expectations (like, how much I will accomplish in a day, what time I leave in the morning, personal time, naptime, etc.)

With all of my scribbling, thinking, and brain-venting via ball-point pen, I decided to set 3 very specific and attainable goals to help me adjust:

1. Pray for patience with Bridger each morning, reporting back at night.
2. Each morning, identify ONE basic home responsibility task to do for the day and ONE personal thing I'd like to do with my time.
3. Be patient with myself and focus on the joyful moments of each day! There are many. 

This worked for me. My stress level sank, my tears lessened, and instead of feeling so overwhelmed at having a messy house and no dinner on the table, I instead was given focus and purpose on one task, and felt happy when it was done. The adjustment wasn't exactly sudden - but I am happy to report, 4 months later, that I have adjusted, (I feel like I've adjusted well) and so has my little family. 

So - when it comes to the stress surrounding adjustment to life changes, I encourage anyone reading this to take the time to assess! Do what works for you - go for a walk, write in your journal, do some yoga - whatever!  And then set realistic, productive, attainable goals. It did me wonders.